User Profile

My name is Tyr Perhaps Kangaroo! I'm here to sniff socks, give back massages, destroy cheese, travel the world, throw skunks in showers, draw on paper, pee on trees, puff a fag, eat weird things, step on crawlies that go squash, leap over great lengths, sit on my tail, eat waffles, raid Taco Bell, lay in your bed, shed on your furniture, cut your brakes on your car, put disappearing ink on the sun, create colorful clouds, make tornadoes spin the other direction, have water flow up and not down, pretend I'm better than Oprah, have sex when rock climbing, go skydiving, rollerblade on ice while it's raining, try and kiss my elbow because no one can, derail the trolley in San Fransisco and take it for a joy ride, cover the Empire state building in sticky notes, take a big black sharpie and write 'pussy' on Bush's forehead and write 'dick' on Cheney's forehead, bowl a perfect score while bowling, make the worlds biggest sculpture out of Cheetos, destroy the McDonalds empire, forbid clowns to wear red noses, buy you a car, end poverty, create world peace, create chlorine for the gene pool, create jeans that block out chlorine, spike the punch at every party, win Ben Steins money, discover the cure for AIDS and cancer, make cookies, land on the moon, make everything not taste like chicken, replace James Bond, walk on water, bring back disco, create artificial brains, rid the world of steroids and other body altering drugs so that people can be beautiful just as they are, and finally, settle down with a cup of hot chocolate while sitting in front of a warm fire with someone special.

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